Initial Addiction Recovery & Emotions
First question. HOW DO YOU FEEL?Angry? Terrified? Trapped? Caught between flight and fight, and it could go either way?
- Deeply depressed (with neither the energy nor ability to tackle any of the problems you are facing)?
- Resentful (you want to kick the living crap out of something)?
- In full blame mode (none of this most recent catastrophe is your fault, if she didn’t…if he would have…)?
- Lost? Do you feel lost (as if you don’t have a friend in the world and no one — especially your family, boss or your former friends—no one has a clue as to what you’re going through)?
Do you feel alone in your addiction battle? As if you belong nowhere?
THERE. THAT’S IT. You belong no where!
Being alone is your destiny. You’ve always known it. Now you’re certain of it. You Don’t Fit In. Never have, never will. Self-pity?
Is your head telling you that you’ve burned every bridge, you’ve hurt everyone you love, you are basically a worthless mess that no one on earth could or would want to help? So what?! Who needs them? You’re too embarrassed to call any of them anyway.
Or, possibly, on some deeply buried level, do you feel the smallest bit relieved? The joke is over. You are caught, trapped, helpless, and your well-being is now in someone else’s hands. (Well, at least until you feel like yourself again.) Do any of those emotions or attitudes sound familiar? Or is it safe to say they all do? You’re in the right place. There is not a person in this world who enters recovery without some or all of these emotional responses duking it out inside of them. It’s Exhausting! So you can add that to the list. Have you ever in your entire life felt more exhausted? Probably not.
In short, it’s a brutal stew of emotions, any of which is likely to surface at any moment and your head will surely explode. Somebody has told you, “just take it a day at a time”. You want to run them into a cement wall. Don’t they understand? You can only take it a day at a time if they will. For God’s sakes, just give you a drink. Or a pill. Anything. But please, please, give you something to just make the pain go away!
Does that about cover how you feel fighting your addiction?
Well, if you are experiencing most or all of these feelings, these emotions, this despondent sense of loss, chances are good that you’re ready.
Welcome to the roller coaster. Welcome to living sober.
Learn more about the treatment of drug addiction, substance abuse and alcoholism from the Jacksonville Addiction Specialists, the Greenfield Center doctors!
Phone: 904-389-DRUG (3784)